Jumper
by ClaireyL
Summary: My take on why Sheppard was on his own at the end of Midway. Spoilers for season 4


He honestly didn't think he was going to be able to take it anymore. They'd been stuck in the jumper for all of a day and he was seriously contemplating shooting himself with the stunner, just to get away from it all!

And it wasn't just Kavanagh and Lee bickering about anything and everything either. Ever since he'd gone home for his father's funeral and seen Nancy again, something had been bugging him, and after twenty four hours cooped up in a jumper with little more to do than think, he was pretty sure he knew what it was.

Seeing Nancy again, talking to her and seeing how happy she was with her new husband, it had gotten him thinking about the early days of their relationship. The last night spent talking, watching movies together, discussing the things they had in common and bickering over the things that they didn't. Then, after they'd moved in together, Nancy was always there for him, holding him up when he was on the verge of falling apart, making sure he ate and slept properly when ever he was home, comforting him over decisions that she would never be privy to but knew were haunting him.

Then he'd come back to Atlantis, and there was McKay. They spent last nights talking together, discussing things that they had in common, bickering over things they didn't. And every time John was on the verge of falling apart McKay would be there to hold him up and keep him together.

John never thought of himself as gay. He found men attractive, certainly, but he'd never wondered what it would be like to be with a man. He knew that Rodney had dabbled when he was in collage thanks to huge amounts of beer after Rodney's failed proposal to Katie Brown. Suddenly, John was wondering what it would be like to kiss Rodney.

And those kinds of thoughts while cooped up in a small space ship with five other men were just asking for trouble. So he'd tried to block out the thoughts and think of Rodney as a friend, at least until a) they were rescued or, b) there ran out of food and water and it wouldn't matter what he did because death was certain.

However, a few hours later he finally cracked. Lee and Kavanagh had been discussing which Star Trek was better, Next Generation or Deep Space Nine. Lee was sure it was Next Generation, because come on who could possibly be better than Picard, while Kavanagh wouldn't budge on his opinion that DS9 had opened up the entire Star Trek Universe to include people who didn't think that Star Fleet was the best thing since transporter technology.

Sheppard had growled, grabbed Rodney from where he was sat on one of the benches and dragged him into the forward compartment before telling the jumper to close and lock the door.

Rodney stumbled and fell into the co-pilots seat, shooting John a very grateful look. "Thank you," Rodney said. "Thank you, thank you, thank you. If I'd had to listen to those two for a minute more I think I might have strangled one of them."

"You're welcome," John told him, moving back to the pilot's seat.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Rodney spoke. "So, who're you backing in the Super bowl this year?"

John looked at him like he'd just grown a second head. "What? You like football right?" Rodney asked.

"Yeah, but you don't," John replied.

Rodney shrugged. "I just thought you might like to talk about something you're interested in."

John just stared at him. Yep, this was his marriage all over again. Nancy had watched many a football game with him, despite the fact that she couldn't have cared less about them game. She'd done it because he liked watching the games, and now Rodney was willing to talk about it when he had no real interest in the game because he knew that John did.

John figured that it was time to but his misgivings aside. Yes, his marriage to Nancy hadn't lasted, but she herself had admitted that it was because she couldn't deal with the secrecy it entailed. Rodney new everything that John had done over the last three and a half years, every mission, every bad call, and every single thing that might come back at a later date and bite him in the ass.

John stood and took the two longest steps of his life so he was leaning over Rodney, his hands on the seats arms rests.

"Sheppard, what are you doing?" Rodney asked voice slightly panicked.

"John," he said, leaning closed to Rodney.

"What?"

"My name, it's John. Not Sheppard, not colonel, John."

"Fine, John what are you doing?" Rodney asked his voice slightly less wobbly than before.

"Testing a theory," John said before closing the gap between them and kissing Rodney.

Rodney groaned when John's tongue grazed over his bottom lips, opening his mouth to let John's tongue in to explore. Rodney didn't stay submissive for long though, and soon he was battling John for dominance of the kiss.

When they finally came up for air, both men were breathing hard. John could see that Rodney's pupils were dilated and his eyes dark with lust. His lips were red and slightly swollen from the intensity of the kiss.

They stared at each other, neither man sure of what to say.

"Well that was..." Rodney tried to think of a word to sum up the kiss but failed.

"Unexpected," John filled in the word that sprung into his head.

"But not unpleasant," Rodney clarified.

"No," John agreed quickly. "Definitely not unpleasant. In fact, I'd say it was quite enjoyable."

"Yes, enjoyable," Rodney replied.

"Want to do it again?" John asked a half smirk firmly in place.

Rodney's reply was to pull him in for another kiss.

Half an hour later they were still kissing. John's TAC vest had disappeared a while ago and Rodney had spent the past five minutes running his fingers over the skin under his t-shirt while John had been using his very talented mouth to tease Rodney's neck.

"We need to stop," Rodney groaned as John tongue found the spot behind his ear that drove him crazy.

"What?" John asked, lust clouding his brain.

"We're in a jumper with four other men, two of them marines under your command. I think we need to stop and carry this on when we get back to Atlantis," Rodney explained.

John pulled away from Rodney slowly. "Why do you have to be such a genius?" he asked the other man.

"It's a curse," Rodney sighed as John moved away from him.

John watched as Rodney straightened his clothes, his hands wanting to rip the damn clothes off him and fuck like bunnies, and damn the consequences. "I think you should probably go back with the others," he suggested. "If we both stay in here I'm not sure I'll be able to control myself."

Rodney looked over at John and nodded his head. "I'd argue, but I think there's less chance of me killing them than you."

"I'll make it up to you," John promised as Rodney moved to the door.

"I'm sure you will," Rodney said, sending John one last look before he opened the door and stormed into the back compartment, huffing and complaining about stupid Flyboy Colonel's before shutting the door again, leaving John in silence to contemplate how he'd make this up to Rodney when they got home.


End file.
